Is the child's reluctance to share toys selfish or another reason?

Preschool-age babies will have disputes with other children because of their favorite toys or snacks. Most mothers want to see their children take the initiative to share with others and fully enjoy the joy of friendship, so they will try their best to prevent their children from monopolizing toys. If the children still refuse to share, they will be labeled "selfish".

Parents don’t understand that children’s exclusive toys are forming "self". Children around 3 years old have gradually increased their self-awareness. At this time, they will pay special attention to "my stuff". Children start by possessing accessible items and slowly construct From the concrete "self", to the conscious "self", and finally to an invisible "self".

People who have not developed well tend to be susceptible to others and lack their own opinions. Therefore, when the child does not share, parents should respect the child and teach the child to be polite, but they have no right to interfere with whom the child is friends with, and they should not be forced to share what they like with others.

Why are children unwilling to share toys with others?

1. The birth of ownership consciousness

Children after the age of three have gradually improved their self-awareness, and the concept of "your" and "mine" is gradually being strengthened, and the ownership of goods is in the bud. Babies think they are their own items and have the right to choose whether to share them with other children.

2. Not fully satisfied

Generous children are based on contentment. If they don’t have enough of this toy, how can they be willing to share it with others? The newly bought toys have not been fully fun by themselves, but parents ask other children to play with them, which is not fair to the children.

3. Lack of social experience

Sharing in social media is a relatively common situation. If babies play for a long time in social activities, then they will be more likely to experience the happiness after sharing.

To let children form a good self and make friends, parents can do this:

1. Clear awareness of property rights

Three-year-old children have a sense of property rights, and they can distinguish "my" things. At this time, the parent can tell the child that he has absolute right to dispose of his own items, and he can choose whether to share it with others.

Parents can tell the baby that if they share their own things with others, it does not mean that the ownership of it belongs to the other party, and the children still have absolute disposal rights at this time.

2. Teach children to say "no"

If the baby is really willing to share with other people, he is very happy to do it even without parental reminders. If you touch the baby's bottom line, parents should also teach their children to say "no".

For whatever reason, if the child is unwilling to share what he likes with the other party, then he can simply say "no". Similarly, if other children are unwilling to share their favorite toys, they also have the right to say "no".

3. Let the child accept "rejected"

The world is so big that even a wealthy family cannot have all the toys in the world. The baby will refuse the request of others to share the toy, and then it may be rejected by others in the future.

Everyone has their beloved things, and it is even more unlikely that they will take them out and be willing to share them with others. Parents should inform their children in advance that being rejected is the norm, and everyone has the right to reject others.

Parents do not need to interfere too much with their children's social life. During the process of children's contact with others, as long as there is no harm to others or themselves, leave them some opportunities to slowly explore. Only when the child finds a suitable way to get along with friends, the child will truly grow up.